What is it you ask? You probably know but just have never called it that before. It can happen ever so quickly, when you least expect it, without a moment's notice. But most every parent knows the feeling - one quick glance into the future, you don't even "ask" for it, it just comes, WHAM! It can literally send your mind spinning - fast - out of control - I simply call it, a "flash-ahead."
We've all heard of "flashbacks," you've probably had many yourself throughout life, and many things admittedly, we may not even want to "choose" to remember! But they often seem to linger on there in our minds for days, even years, coming to our thoughts when we least expect it, especially when we see, hear, or even smell, something "familiar."
A flash-ahead is similiar, but it usually involves many emotions that can well up literally within seconds! It's one of those rare moments when you, all of sudden, can see with amazing clarity, "your child all grown up." It can cause a feeling of sheer joy, or maybe even a brief moment of sadness causing huge crocodile tears to well up instantly in your eyes, or to be quite honest, it can often cause some big feelings of near panic! I mean, come on, some things, we're just not ready to think about yet!
Like Noah - and driving. Nope, just can't go there yet in my mind. But there he stood before me one day, asking me for the keys to the car. "Mom, can I have your keys, pleeeeaaaasee???" My mind raced ahead, seeing him standing there as a 16 yr. old, blond hair & dazzling blue eyes, in an old worn T-shirt, back pack over one shoulder, football under his other arm, asking me for the keys to our car. Or quite possibly even driving his "own" car! Help! My mind raced through safety issues, insurance & car costs, sleepless nights, curfew times, I unfortunately also "flashbacked" & remembered my own "drag racing" days when I was a teenager, OH NO!!!! My mind could have easily continued to spiral out of control right then, but I quickly shook myself back to reality, "wait," I told myself, "he's only 3, we still have time for the safety talks & the lectures about no drag racing down the streets, whew!" I focused on the fact that he only drives his bike now, & the battery operated Hummer, still somewhat safe, & I can usually be close by, what a relief! A firm, "NO, you can't have the keys," temporarily silenced the stark reality that someday - indeed - he will drive - his own car. (:
And then, there was another time, Gracie came to me asking me for her cell phone. "Mommy, where'd my cell phone go???" she asked, play make-up lipstick still lingering on her cute little face, one hand on her hip, talking with the other hand, like she was ready to rule the world & tell everyone what to do in life. Now, I have to say, I'm incredibly glad that for the present time, Gracie's cell phone is cute & pink, only cost a one time low price of $7.99 & only calls princess friends, like Cinderella & Snow White. But seeing her stand there with her hand on one hip asking, with some "attitude," about her cell phone, instantly took me to a flash-ahead into the future. I could see her, right in front of me, there she was...age 17, beautiful as ever, long dark hair & huge brown eyes, talking on her little phone, maybe still cute & pink, but probably more expensive than $7.99, and quite possibly talking to a "prince" instead of a "princess." UGH! Not ready for that yet either.
And then it happened to me again just a few weeks ago...there he stood before me, that precious little boy looking so handsome in a tux, green eyes sparkling up at me, a smile that never seems to end. Dawson had been asked to be in a friend's wedding, wow, what an honor & a fun experience. Though he wasn't too "keen" on the idea initially, having to wear a real "suit" & all, once someone told him he looked like James Bond in that cool looking black tux, he quite thouroughly enjoyed the whole day's adventure! The "suit" had taken on a whole new meaning!
But when I looked at him that day, in one brief moment, tears began to well up in my eyes...my mind instantly flashed ahead...I could see him standing there in a tux, years into the future, on his own wedding day. I could see that same sweet smile, those same sparkling green eyes...and I knew in my heart, there would come a day, that he would stand at that altar with the girl of his dreams & that his life would carry on into a whole new adventure. I felt my heart wanting to hold onto these moments of childhood...not wanting them to go too quickly. I felt the reality emerge again, that I would need to begin to "let go" little by little through these growing up years...I breathed a quick prayer, "God, give me wisdom, to know when to hold close & when to let go, I don't know if I can do it alone."
That's hard sometimes, isn't it? The reality of letting go, bit by bit, ever so slowly, as our children grow up? When I look into the future, I realize that alot of what we, as parents, are doing right now for our children, in the present day to day routine of life, is quite simply to prepare them to live - independent of us. Gulp. That reality was, frankly, hard for me to swallow at one time, but I have indeed "swallowed it" now, & I can't wait to see all that unfolds through life as our children grow up & move on into the journey that God has prepared for them.
It's still hard sometimes when I have those "flash-ahead" moments. But it does help me to cherish the time more deeply, the long days, and yes, the short years too, they truly are flying by. Each stage is so unique, so different, many of you have told me to TREASURE each phase, thank you for those great words of wisdom!
One of my favorite verses is from Proverbs 31...I may not be able to ever keep up with all that the Proverbs 31 woman did in that chapter, wow, nor do I think we're really intended to, I believe it's more a "model" of a godly woman & what we can look towards in this life, but nevertheless, one verse I do love & try my best to choose to live by is this...
"...she can LAUGH the days to come." Prov. 31:25
Isn't that just GREAT??? God desires for us to have fun in life, He wants us to find joy & laughter in the future, about the days to come!
We can have HOPE, we can have JOY, we can look forward with excitement to all that God has in store for the future of our children! It may not mean that life will always be "rosy" & easy, it probably won't, but it does mean, that we can have a deep & consistent "knowing" inside that HE is always with us, and with our children, that He will never leave us.
That is such good news & always helps to put my "flash-ahead" moments in wonderful perspective.
So go ahead - LAUGH - enjoy each day of the present & when you have those few, brief moments of "flashing ahead" - don't panic, know that we can find true hope & joy in our great God! He has many incredible gifts He's just waiting to unfold before us & in the lives of our children!
Now, THAT is exciting. (:
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